It’s natural to feel anxious, sad, or just plain weird on your wedding day. Seriously, it is. That panicky feeling in the pit of your stomach, like life as you know it is going to end? That is also natural. Indeed, life as you know it is going to end. And a new one is going to begin. That is a lot to process. On the one hand there is the endless preparation and the impending excitement, and on the other there’s this sense of loss because your pre-wedding days are over. Most women, if they are to be honest about it, would find that deep down their feelings on their wedding day are slightly mixed. In this post we take a look at why that is and what to do about it. You would need to start early with managing your emotional state if you want your wedding day to be smooth though, just as with other things like planning and looking good. Here are a few tips to help you with that.
1) Find out why you are panicky
People get panicky ahead of their wedding, or on their wedding day, for different reasons but rarely does that panic set in out of nowhere. You feel it building up in the days leading up to the big event. We suggest you should pay attention to those feelings when they are in their nascent stage itself, and isolate the reasons to be able to address it rationally. Our culture places a lot of emphasis on marriage, so that kind of breaks up our lives into two broad phases – pre-marriage days and post-marriage days. Since we all are a part of this culture, it’s natural for us to get caught in that narrative and mourn the theoretical loss of our freedom and opportunities. It’s also perfectly natural to think of all of our exes and consider what could have been. But that need not be your overriding narrative. If you really believe a part of your life is gone, rationalizing won’t help. Mourn it if you feel like it. Let the tears flow. Don’t try to hold the emotions back. Do it in peace and quiet though so as not to alarm others. There is no set limit to when you should stop or how much you should cry. The aim is to lighten your heart. But in the middle of it all a part of you has to remain aware that all this grief is natural and ephemeral. You know that you are doing the right thing by marrying your man. But at the same time that does not mean you won’t mourn your life till now or be filled with anxiety about what lies ahead.
2) Enjoy the process
It’s important to enjoy the entire process leading up to the big day as that is where you are going to be spending most of your time and energy. The wedding itself will only last a few hours. So as much as enjoying the ceremony it is important to enjoy the build-up to it and every little thing associated with it. Cherish those moments as well. Don’t dismiss this time as simply a prelude to a big day; every moment is important and can be (and should be) enjoyed.
3) Focus on the basics and keep them strong
It’s the easiest thing in the world to lose sight of the big picture when our mind is preoccupied (with anxious thoughts in this case). Focusing on the basics in such a scenario can become your anchor.
By basics we mean the following:
- Keep yourself hydrated (if sticking to an elaborate diet plan is becoming increasingly difficult)
- Avoid foods that bloat you up (sugary or savory)
- Avoid foods that you know will go straight to your waist and hips and stay there for years to come
- Put yourself in bed before midnight (even if you are not able to go to sleep immediately)
- Don’t let your hygiene suffer (especially if you have acne-prone skin)
- Keep your body and hair moisturized more often than not
If you follow the above religiously, you will have a better chance of looking good on your wedding day than if you were to try to do everything in your jittery frame of mind and end up not doing anything properly. Sometimes it helps to simplify matters, especially when our emotional strength is compromised.
Some more tips that may help you:
- Chat to your friends about nothing in particular
- Watch rom-coms to get your mushiness flowing
- Reach out to your man if you need reassurance
- Speak to your mom (or dad, whoever you are close to) about your anxiety. They should be able to understand it and keep things in perspective for you.
4) Plan, plan, plan
To plan well is the best way to keep stress at bay. Again, make a list of basic things for you to focus on and stick with them no matter what. If you must lose yourself into something to keep yourself sane, let that be the details pertinent to you. Anything that is of secondary or tertiary importance, delegate it to people you trust.
5) Let go of the need for everything to be prefect
Learn to be happy with ‘good enough’. That goes for your wedding preparation as well as the man you are marrying. What are the basic things you want on your wedding day as well as in your life partner? Make sure those most important boxes are ticked, and then let the other boxes on the endless detailed list fall by the wayside. You will never have all your expectations met so don’t set yourself up for disappointment by venturing into that territory.
This is the most underrated way to bring yourself back into control with great calmness and strength. On top of that, it boosts the clarity of mind, just like an added bonus! Make meditation a part of your routine in the days leading up to the big day. Set aside at least half an hour to just sit cross-legged in a quiet place and focus on your breath. Let your thoughts come, and equally let them go. Don’t entertain them, regardless of whether they are good or not. The whole point of this exercise is for your thoughts to lose their grip on you and that will only happen when you don’t feed every Tom, Dick, and Harry of a thought that pops into your mind. Show them who the boss is and regain the reins of your mind. Make sure to meditate (or pray) the first thing in the morning on your wedding day as well. You will notice a tremendous amount of calmness and confidence descend on you.
Brian Zeng is associated with Adorona a leading custom dresses making company in formal dresses online industry. He is a writer for Adorona and has many years of experience partnering with clients to build their business through development and implementation of track-proven Internet marketing strategies. Follow him on Google+.