Dating Someone That You Dated in the Past

If you are like a lot of people, you have dated a lot of people in the past, and though you liked one another the timing just wasn’t right.  Of course, just because things didn’t work out in the past doesn’t mean that they couldn’t work out in the future.  If you cross paths again in the future and you shouldn’t blow off the opportunity to date them again just because you did in the future.  If you want to give it another shot there are some things that you should remember or at least keep in mind:

1. Think about why it didn’t work out in the past.  Was it really just timing or do you want different things from life?  Was the person unkind to you? Did they pressure you to do things that you didn’t want or like to do?  You shouldn’t assume that what happened in the past will be the same, but if you had some fundamental differences you should really stop and think about whether you can deal with them before you invest any more time in the relationship.

2. Build on what you already know about one another.  The awesome thing about dating someone that you already know at least a little bit is that you don’t have to go through those uncomfortable and often daunting first date conversations where you try to learn more about one another.

3. Don’t fall into familiar routines.  While you may have dated in the past, you should approach the relationship with an excitement that you would approach any new relationship.  If you simply fall into old routines you’ll end up breaking up again.  There is a reason why it didn’t work out before, so try to be excited about the new relationship even though it is with someone that you already dated in the past.

4. Don’t feel like you have to make it work.  Feel it out.  You’ll know pretty quickly whether this is going to be something that will work or not.  You shouldn’t feel like just because this is the second time around that you have to stick it out.  If it’s working great, but if it is not you should definitely find your way out sooner rather than later.  You don’t need to waste time on the relationship if it’s not working.

5. Let them know more about you. Open up even more and really share your life and your thoughts with this person.  The only way to build on what you already have is to share more and really expand the relationship to a whole new level.  You’ll find that you become a lot closer and have more to talk about and connect over when you do this.

How to Tell if He is Into You, Too

We all assume that once we become adults that we will not have these secret crushes that require us to wonder how the other person feels about us, but it doesn’t go away.  If there is someone special in your life that you would like to get out of the friend zone with and move onto something bigger and better, there may be some signs that he is into you.  Why do you need the signs?  This may help you feel a bit more confident about confessing your true feelings for him.

Signs to Look For

The great thing about having a crush that you know is that you can look for some signs that he may be crushing on you, too.  At the very least, when you have some positive signs you will be able to expose your crush with the hope that the feelings are reciprocated.  Some of the positive signs to look for include:

1. He spends time with you regularly that you don’t have to coax him into.
2. You know his friends and he knows yours.
3. He makes a point of making plans with you ahead of time.
4. He has the ability to commit to relationships.
5. He doesn’t tell you about other girls.

These little signs are big.  You want to know that he likes to spend time with you and that you don’t have to coax him into it, because this means that he likes you, at least on some level.  You also want to make sure that you have met his friends, because if you haven’t there has to be a reason, usually one that is not good.  You want to also make sure that he makes plans with you and doesn’t wait until the last minute, otherwise you may just be a good way to pass the time when he doesn’t have anything better to do.  Before you go imagining the two of you living happily ever after, you should probably make sure that he can commit.  If he’s telling you about other girls that he is currently dating, chances are you are just a friend or he’s a player and you are better off not revealing your crush.

If you have decided that you want to reveal your feelings, just go for it.  There are no promises that it will work out, even if he does reciprocate, but you can definitely hope for the best.  You don’t have to make the revelation of your feelings anything dramatic, just tell him that you enjoy spending time with him and that you wanted to come clean, that you are crushing on him a bit.  Then, brace yourself for his response.  If the feels are not mutual it may be awkward for awhile, but hopefully together you can move past it.  The best case scenario is that you have read the signs right and he feels the same and you’ll live happily ever after.

Make This Valentines Day Something Special

Every man struggles with how to make Valentines Day a special day for his lady.  It is hard because there are so many options and while a woman may say that it is not a big deal, generally she wants to feel loved and adored on this day and she wants her man to make a public display of his feelings.

Many men struggle with getting it just right, but you don’t have to.  You have to stop thinking so much and just think about the woman that you are with and what she might want from you.  It’s when you over think things that you often get yourself into trouble.  So, if she tells you what she wants to do for Valentines, listen.  If she tells you not to worry about Valentines Day, listen but then make sure that you do something special.

1. Pick up some of her favorite candy.  It doesn’t have to be chocolate and the less generic the better.  Many men pick up the pre-wrapped boxes of chocolates and while this is great, the average woman doesn’t actually eat most of the candy in the box.  If you know she likes licorice, pick her up some of that instead of the old stand by that every guy goes for.

2. Get her some of her favorite flowers.  Don’t go for roses just because that is what everyone does.  If you know that she likes lilies or something of this nature, then go for that.  Don’t want to be traditional?  Get her just one or two instead of a dozen.  Sometimes less really is more.

3. Make dinner or lunch plans.  If lunch works better for your schedule, what’s wrong with that?  If you have a favorite restaurant, make plans there, or if you would rather, plan a romantic dinner in for the two of you.

4. Be a gentleman.  Rub her back or her feet.  Draw her a bath, but don’t make it be something sexual.  Just let her know that you care about her and want her to be able to relax.  If you do this, you have a better chance of getting lucky because she’ll feel relaxed and less like a piece of meat and more like a woman that you cherish.

5. Turn on “your song’ and ask her to dance.  You don’t have to be a great dancer and you don’t have to be the most romantic person in the world.  If you do this in your own living room or on your patio, she’ll be swooning for you and it will be a Valentines Day that she will never forget—and you probably won’t either!

Unique Ideas for Your Next Date

Are you looking for date ideas that are both unique and exciting?  If you don’t feel like you can sit through another “date movie” you aren’t alone.  Many singles are just like you and looking for something more from the dating experience.  The good news is that there are some really great ideas out there that you can start making your own.  You’ll have some unforgettable dates, even if things don’t work out between you and the person you go out with, at least you will have had a great time!

1. Hit a wind tunnel.  This is a newer activity that a lot of people are finding are a lot of fun.  It seems sort of like a ride, but it is much more intense and is actually much more sport like than ride like.  These high powered wind tunnels actually allow you to fly through the air.  This will be a thrilling date that will help you break the ice while you break out of the movie and dinner routine.  You’ll definitely bond over this one of a kind experience and it will keep your blood pumping through the entire date.

2. If possible, get in the water. If you are lucky enough to be around a river, why not hit the water in a canoe and see the landscape up close and personal?  If you have faster moving waters why not go white water rafting.  Again, this is a great way to break the ice and you’ll have a truly memorable experience.  This is a great idea for a first date or any date if you are just looking to break out of the same old same old dating routine you have fallen into.

3. Hit the trails!  Go on a guided or non-guided bike ride of the trails around your area!  You can pack a lunch and hit the trails and spend as little or as much time as you would like on the trails together.  This will not only be a great adventure to take on together, it will also be good for your body so you both feel good about yourselves after your date.

4. Try out some laser tag!  Laser tag is a lot of fun and it is really sweeping the dating scene.  Laser tag will involve the two of you either taking on one another, or teaming up and taking on other people.  This is a lot of fun, and again, it can be as short or as long in duration as you would like and it is simply a lot of fun.

5. Try out rock climbing.  Rock climbing is a lot of fun and it makes a great start to a date.  There are a lot of places that are dedicated to rock climbing where you can reserve a time and have a lot of fun together.  If you both enjoy it, you may find that you have a new hobby that you can explore together well beyond this one date.

Unique Ideas for Your Next Date

Are you looking for date ideas that are both unique and exciting?  If you don’t feel like you can sit through another “date movie” you aren’t alone.  Many singles are just like you and looking for something more from the dating experience.  The good news is that there are some really great ideas out there that you can start making your own.  You’ll have some unforgettable dates, even if things don’t work out between you and the person you go out with, at least you will have had a great time!

1. Hit a wind tunnel.  This is a newer activity that a lot of people are finding are a lot of fun.  It seems sort of like a ride, but it is much more intense and is actually much more sport like than ride like.  These high powered wind tunnels actually allow you to fly through the air.  This will be a thrilling date that will help you break the ice while you break out of the movie and dinner routine.  You’ll definitely bond over this one of a kind experience and it will keep your blood pumping through the entire date.

2. If possible, get in the water. If you are lucky enough to be around a river, why not hit the water in a canoe and see the landscape up close and personal?  If you have faster moving waters why not go white water rafting.  Again, this is a great way to break the ice and you’ll have a truly memorable experience.  This is a great idea for a first date or any date if you are just looking to break out of the same old same old dating routine you have fallen into.

3. Hit the trails!  Go on a guided or non-guided bike ride of the trails around your area!  You can pack a lunch and hit the trails and spend as little or as much time as you would like on the trails together.  This will not only be a great adventure to take on together, it will also be good for your body so you both feel good about yourselves after your date.

4. Try out some laser tag!  Laser tag is a lot of fun and it is really sweeping the dating scene.  Laser tag will involve the two of you either taking on one another, or teaming up and taking on other people.  This is a lot of fun, and again, it can be as short or as long in duration as you would like and it is simply a lot of fun.

5. Try out rock climbing.  Rock climbing is a lot of fun and it makes a great start to a date.  There are a lot of places that are dedicated to rock climbing where you can reserve a time and have a lot of fun together.  If you both enjoy it, you may find that you have a new hobby that you can explore together well beyond this one date.

Things You Should Never Discuss on a First Date

Always wonder why you never get asked out on a second date?  Are you always turned down when you ask for a second date?  If so, you are definitely doing something wrong, and chances are you are a perfectly nice person that just happens to choose the worst topics of discussion on a first date.  As real as we all like to pretend to be, there are some things that we just don’t want to discuss on a first date.  In fact, if you do discuss some of these things on a first date you are almost assured you won’t get a second.

Don’t talk about health issues.  The fact of the matter is that people in general are attracted to other healthy people.  If you sit down and immediately begin talking about all of your health problems it will be an immediate turn off.  The person may not even realize that the health issues are why they are not attracted; they may just be psychologically turned off because we are programmed to be attracted to healthy people.

Don’t talk about your problems.  It’s not like you cannot talk about your life, but you shouldn’t view a first date as a sub text to an advertisement where you have to warn about how hostile your life really is!  You need to hold back with all of the negatives, the person will have a chance to get to know more about you and what you have been through all on your own.  Also, don’t talk about your more annoying habits or character traits; you’re basically working to turn them off.

Don’t talk about your date.  If they mention their weight or their skin or something like this, don’t say, “Yeah I noticed you have some issues going on with that.”  You are better just to listen to what your date has to say and keep up the conversation about other things than to comment about shortcomings or problems that you may see with your date.  This is just not good form!

Don’t talk too much about the future.  If you begin to talk too much about the future the person you are on a date with will do one of two things.  The first option is that they will freak out and assume that you are already imagining them in your future.  The second option is that you will make them feel inferior and incapable of being a part of your future, even if they really do like you.  Share these plans later on, after you have known one another for awhile.

Don’t talk politics.  Chances are very slim that you will see eye to eye!  Talking politics is just asking to get off to the wrong start.  If you talk politics you run the risk of having things end before they ever really begin.

Even Shy Guys Can Date Like Professionals!

Are you a shy or quiet guy?  If so, you may struggle with dating because you are just a nice guy and you don’t really know how to assert yourself to women, or even let them know that you are interested.  There are some tips that you can use to help you be a success with women, even if you are painfully shy or have never had a positive dating experience.

If you’re shy and you want to meet great women and enjoy your time with them, you will want to consider:

Faking it.  Have you ever heard the phrase, “fake it until you make it”?  This is what shy people have to do all the time because there is simply no cure for being shy. Instead of settling for no social life, you need to pretend as though you are not a shy person.  The more you pretend the better you will feel and before you know it, you will no longer be shy in social situations and you’ll find that it is easy to approach women and get to know them better.

Let go of past experiences.  Many times when you are shy or timid with women you got that way because of a negative past experience.  While past experiences affect you no matter what you do, you need to make peace with the past and then move forward without allowing for it to affect your future dating life.  It is difficult, but you need to work on moving past the past and looking toward the future.  This will help you conquer your shy feelings and become a dating success.

Just be yourself.  Women like a man who doesn’t apologize for who he is.  If you are just yourself you will find that she takes more notice than if you aren’t.  If you are yourself and you fake it until you make it with being a bit more outgoing, she can’t help but notice you.  Women don’t always require a man who will be the center of attention; they want someone who is interesting, even if he is a bit quieter than other people.  Just be the best you that you can be, and don’t be ashamed of it.

Just express interest in her.  Many women just like attention, and if you show an interest in her or what she does, she’ll definitely take a liking to you.  When you show this interest or attention she’ll know that you are interested and you won’t necessarily have to step out of your comfort zone.  If she has changed her hair, comment on it.  If you know she is going on a trip, express interest in where she is going.

What Men and Women Both Want

Many people are convinced that men and women do not want the same things from their significant others and their relationships.  The fact of the matter is that there are a few things that both men and women want from a relationship.  It might surprise you to learn that there are some basic things that we all want from one another, regardless of age or gender.

Good Conversation

Both men and women like someone who can talk to them about the things that are important to them.  Of course, what each person wants to talk about is different, but both men and women look for a mate that will be able to talk to them about the things that they are interested in.  Meaningful conversation is something that we all find attractive and when you find someone that will talk to you about the things you are interested in, it’s hard to not find them attractive.

Trust

In life we all crave the trust of others and we want to be able to give ourselves over to other people, as well.  We want to trust and be trusted.  Both men and women feel energized and loved when they are trusted, and for many people being trusted and trusting is a turn on all in and of itself because it allows for them to break down the walls that they often surround themselves with.

Love

It’s hard to believe it, but yes, both men and women want to be loved.  The odd thing is that women like to hear it spoken more than men, but men want it just as much.  Men may not need to hear it as much as women, but they like to see and feel that they are loved when they look at the person they are with and through the actions of their love interest.

Sex

While men are often accused of wanting sex more than anything else, both men and women want sex.  Sex is something that you cannot help but to want because it is human nature.  Many people crave sex just for the physical gratification but other people want to have sex because it allows for them to be close to the person that they have connected with in so many other ways.

As you can see, there are many things that both men and women want.  This doesn’t mean that all men and all women are compatible, because each of us prioritizes these things differently and you need to find someone who prioritizes these things the way that you do.  It’s just nice to know that as different as men and women often appear to be, there are some fundamental things about us that are the same and allow us to connect.

Saying “I love you” Without Words

Telling someone that you love them involves so much more than words.  So often we get caught up in the idea that showing someone that you love them is all about saying the words, but there is so much more to it than that.  There are some really simple, but great, ways to tell your spouse that you love them without actually saying a word.  By doing just a few things you will let your spouse know that they are truly loved.

1. Pick up their favorite snack.  Remember when you were first dating and you would run to the store in the middle of the night and pick up that pint of favorite ice cream, bag of chips, or candy just to make the person happy and let them know that you loved them?  Many people do away with this practice once they get married or are settled into a relationship, but you shouldn’t!  You should continue to do these small things to show the person that you love that you really do care.  Pick up their favorite snack on the way home from work and surprise them with it, you’ll be telling that you love them without saying a word!

2. Sneak a note into their work things.  When we first get together with someone we are more likely to write love letters and express our feelings through words, but over time it becomes easier to just mutter “love you” on your way out the door.  Instead of going this route, once in awhile you should sneak a little note into their work things, on the dashboard of the car, or in their lunch.

3. Do something nice, just because.  Don’t wait until you are asked or because you feel like you have to do something, instead choose to do something nice for your spouse every now and again.  You can do something little like ensure that their favorite shirt is clean; make them their favorite cookies, or something of this sort.  If you do little things like this, you are expressing your love in an obvious but wordless fashion.

4. Touch in a non-sexual way.  So often we touch either really briefly or only in a sexual way and there is so little in between.  Instead of only touching when it is routine or when you are having sex, walk by your spouse and rub them on the back for a second longer than normal, rub their neck, hold their hand, or extend your non-sexual touch just a bit longer than usual. This will allow them to feel nothing but loved!

5. If you know that something that you does bugs your mate, make a concerted and obvious effort to correct it.  Don’t just try to change the behavior, but let them know that you are doing so.  This will let your lover know that you love them enough to change things about yourself, which says a lot!

Just Say No: Things You Should Never Do on a First Date

There are some things that we all tend to do on a first date that could leave us wanting a second date but not getting asked out on one.  We all make choices when we are on that first date in an effort to put our best foot forward, but sometimes we try just a little bit too hard and it comes off in an unattractive manner.  Some of the things that you will never want to do on a first date that you hope to turn into a second one include:

1. Acting too sexy.  Sexy is good, but if you are trying to be sexy you lose all of the points that you would have gotten by being naturally sexy.  Don’t try too hard, don’t be too forward, and don’t act like a dog in heat or some sort of predator.  Men and women do this when they are trying too hard and it just is not attractive and will likely leave you alone in the end.

2. Don’t laugh non-stop. When we like someone and we want them to like us back, we laugh.  Women do this more than men and it’s a nervousness thing.  You can’t laugh at everything that someone says, or they will think that you are either trying too hard, not smart enough to comment back, or just not able to be serious about anything.

3. Don’t whisper to friends the whole night.  If you are out on a group date and your friends are with you, the worst thing you can do is spend all night in the ear of your friend.  This will make the person you are out with feel self conscious and they aren’t going to sign up for that a second night in a row.

4. Don’t drink too much.  Drinking can be something that you can incorporate into the first date, but if you drink too much you’ll either come across as an unstable person with a drinking problem or you’ll say and do things you’ll regret later.  Have a drink or two and then leave it at that.

5. Don’t be afraid of being vulnerable.  We all connect to people when we realize we share something, and when you allow your vulnerable side show you will become more attractive.

6. Don’t dress the way you normally do not.  Bring yourself to the date so you don’t have to keep up with something that you’re not on a second and third date.

7. Don’t talk about your ex’s all night long.

8. Don’t start referring to the two of you as an “us” as this is sure to chase the person away.

9. Don’t air all of your dirty laundry on the first date.  This will leave the person feeling as though you are too dramatic for their liking.

10. Don’t be afraid of silence.  You don’t have to talk the whole time, natural silences are just that, natural!