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We’ve all heard people tell their stories of their break up and in hindsight there were all these signs that things were going downhill, they just didn’t pay attention to them.  If we could only know what the signs are that we should be looking for, potentially a lot of relationships could be saved, assuming they were worth saving.  There are some tell tale signs that a relationship may be in trouble that you may want to keep in mind, because in some cases you can act accordingly and intervene before things get out of hand and cannot be repaired.

“Talks” Scare Your Partner.  If every time you sit down under the pretense of discussing your relationship your partner looks freaked out, this could be a bad sign.  Generally if both people are on the same page you don’t even need to have these talks, but if you feel as though certain things need to be discussed from time to time and your partner tenses up and just appears scared out of their mind, it could be an indication they are not ready to be as serious as you are, or that they have already checked out.

There is More Wrong than Right.  Or, at least that is the perception of one or both of you.  So many times we have the tendency when a relationship is not healthy to focus on what is wrong rather than what is right.  There are things wrong in every relationship, but usually these are counter balanced by what is right.  If the focus is always on what is wrong and you can never celebrate what is going good between the two of you, it’s generally not a good sign.

Fighting is the Cornerstone of Your Relationship.  If fighting and arguments have become the mainstay of your relationship, that’s a problem.  When you cannot discuss things and everything turns into an argument, there has been a fundamental breakdown of the fabric of your relationship and you need to get help or you’ll be finding that you are getting out before you know it.  People who fight all the time don’t stay together, so learn to talk and discuss things in a more respectful and healthy manner if you want it to work.

You No Longer Care to Spend Time Together.  Any relationship requires that you make time for one another. Even the busiest couples, who are happy, are able to find time for one another.  If one or both of you makes excuses not to spend time together this is generally a sign that one or both of you has checked out of the relationship and the only thing that hasn’t been done is the official act of breaking up.

These are some of the most common signs that a relationship is going to come to an end if both of you do not commit to making things right.  Even if you do want things to work, sometimes the timing is just not right and they won’t work out.  If you are worried about your relationship, these are some definite signs to consider.

You hit it off and you cannot spend too much time together.  You seem to have everything in common and you know that your lover wants you as much as you want them, so what is the hold up?  It can be confusing and frustrating when you want to sleep with someone and you can’t get them to reciprocate.  What’s going on?  The fact of the matter is that there are a lot of different reasons that your new love interest may not be ready to be your lover.

Perhaps the person that you are ready to sleep with still isn’t sure that they are ready to sleep with you because they aren’t sure that you are someone that they want to spend time with or get intimate with.  If a person is not positive how they feel about someone, they are not going to want to have sex.  Just give them time, be honest about who you are and what you want, and chances are they will decide how they feel about you and your relationship can move forward.

Many times people hold out on having sex because they aren’t sure how YOU really feel about them.  The last thing that most people want, especially women, is to have sex with someone that they really like only to find out afterward that it wasn’t about love or intimacy, it was just about the sex.  Be sure that you are clear about how you feel, as sometimes this is all someone needs.

Some people hold out for religious reasons.  While the person may really want to have sex with you, they may not believe in sex before marriage.  You should be sure that you talk about this so you understand what you are up against.  If this is the case, will it be a deal breaker or will you be willing to move forward with the relationship?  Generally this is not something that you can talk someone out of, so you need to choose to respect it or not.

Many people just want to take it slow.  If you haven’t been together all that long you may find that the person is just hesitant to rush into having sex.  If the person has not had sex before, just hasn’t had much sexual experience, or has experienced a bad break up, they are going to be less likely to rush into sexual relationships.  The only thing you can really do is to be supportive and loving and wait until they are ready, which is something that is different for every person.

In a small portion of people, the reason why they are holding out is because they are dating other people.  You may be “the other person” and so they may be a bit more hesitant about getting involved sexually with you.  This is not always the case, but in people who are seeing other people they are often a bit more hesitant to get involved, so be sure that you talk about this.

Many people are relationships addicts, meaning they don’t know how to be happy when they are not involved in a relationship.  Of course, anyone can be happy when they are single by making motions that will allow them to enjoy the single life or just enjoy the process of finding someone new.  You can enjoy being single and there are some constructive ways in which you can move from being single to being in a relationship for the right reasons.

First and foremost, don’t be ashamed of being single!  Many people get out of a relationship and they feel totally lost and alone in the world.  This is all about perspective.  Being single is truly a state of mind, you need to look at being single as being the master of your own destiny, consider it a freeing experience.  When you are single you don’t have to worry about what someone else wants to do, you can do your own thing!  Don’t look at being single as a bad thing; look at it is as truly liberating time in your life.

One thing that is awesome about being single is that you can take time to rediscover all of the awesome things about being single.  One of the things that you can enjoy doing again without worrying is flirting.  Nothing is more enjoyable than flirting, and when you are single you don’t have to worry about what your boyfriend or girlfriend would think, you don’t have to worry about stepping over that line or giving mixed messages, instead you can flirt to your hearts content.  When you flirt you’ll feel good about yourself and you’ll rediscover the true joys of being unattached.

If you want to meet someone new, you need to make sure that you are in the right place at the right time.  Many of us hamper our own efforts to meet new people because we don’t put ourselves in the right situations to meet the kind of people we would like to meet.  If you go to the bar every night you are going to meet the kind of person who likes to hang out in the bar.  You need to put yourself in an environment on a regular basis that will attract the type of person that you want to meet.

Don’t make being in a relationship about your age.  Many people fear that they will never be in a relationship and the more they worry the more they hear the ticking of their biological clock. Don’t listen to the ticking because when you do this you’ll likely get involved in a relationship that is not really right just to quiet your ticking biological clock.  You need to remember that the right relationship, and children, will happen in their own time.  This is not something that you can force to happen so just ignore the ticking and enjoy being single until the right person comes along.

Many women think they know what men want, but when it comes right down to it, they don’t know the last thing about what a man wants in a woman.  The fact of the matter is that most women put far too much thought into what they do and when they do it.  Men generally just want women to be themselves, but also respect them when they are themselves.  If you have been wondering what you can do to be a better girlfriend you might want to try:

1. Eating more than a salad when he takes you to dinner.  A guy wants a girl who will eat with him and when all you order time after time is a salad he’ll assume you have more issues than he is willing to deal with.
2. Don’t play guessing games.  Just tell him what you want.  A guy would rather that you just tell him what you want than to play games or expect that he’ll know what is wanted or expected of him.
3. Don’t call him silly names in front of his friends.  He may accept you calling him pookie when you’re at home, but leave the nicknames at home!
4. Tell him what you want in the bedroom.  Again, he would like you to just be honest and not require him to guess at what will make you happy.  He wants to please you, so let him know how.
5. Don’t ask him to meet your family and friends too soon.  You’ll scare him off if you do.  It’s not that he doesn’t like you or want to know your family; he just doesn’t want to rush into it.
6. Allow him to have a guy’s night out, and don’t complain about it.  Your man is who he is and has been since before you came along, so allow him to keep being himself even with you.
7. Go out with your friends.  He wants to be your boyfriend but he doesn’t want to be the center of your universe, he wants you to have fun with your friends, too.
8. Don’t call him when he is out with his friends more than once.  He likes you and wants to be with you, but doesn’t want to be tied down to you.
9. Have fun with him.  Don’t be uptight or worry too much about little things.  Remember, women usually put too much thought into things and your man will appreciate it if you don’t!
10. Don’t get angry when he turns on the game.  He likes sports.  You can try to talk about moderation after the game, but throwing a fit in the middle of the game will not do any good!

These are little things that every man wishes he could tell his girlfriend but isn’t quite sure how to word it.  Men generally are just much simpler than women when dating, and this is where many of the problems begin.  It may take some adjustment to commit to any of these things, but in the end you’ll find that it is more than worth it.

There are some basic things that most of us require in the people that we date and spend time with, and for the majority of us one requirement is cleanliness.  Perhaps cleanliness should be accompanied by good grooming skills, as one can be clean without being well groomed.  It can be embarrassing not only for us personally when we are dating someone who is not well groomed and clean, but also for the people around us.  Grooming standards have relaxed with the last couple generations and some people just don’t see a need for it.  The result is that you may end up dating someone who does not groom themselves well.

Many people don’t know that the person that they are dating is not exactly…presentable until they get to know them a little bit better.  Issues that you might not notice right away are a lack of deodorant, women who don’t shave their underarms or legs, or men who do not wash their hair or shave their face often enough.  These are things that we may not notice right away when we meet someone, but if we spend enough time with someone we can’t help but notice and we know that other people will notice, too!

If you are dating someone who doesn’t have good personal hygiene and grooming skills you should talk to them about how you feel.  This could be a very delicate discussion, but it is something that you should do if you are uncomfortable with the way that the person you are dating grooms themselves.  You should let them know that you really enjoy spending time with them, but you have some concerns about these specific things.  You need to be prepared for them to be hurt or angry, and that is why you need to be as gentle as you can when discussing your concerns.

The talk can go three different ways.  Either they will compromise with you and change things a little bit or at least cover up things that you don’t like when you go out, they’ll agree that they need to change and make all of the changes that you have requested, or they will tell you that they are who they are and you need to get used to it.  You need to be prepared to respond to any and all of these responses, which can be difficult.

If the person agrees you are in luck, so you should definitely compliment them on the changes that they make and let them know how great they look.  If they agree to compromise and sort of meet you in the middle, you should appreciate this and take what you can get. Who knows, in the future it could get better.  If they have the “take me as I am” attitude you need to decide what you are going to do.  Can you stay in the relationship or is their lack of hygiene or grooming too much to endure?  You need to decide for yourself, as this really is a personal decision.

Dating can be a lot of fun and it can lead to even more fun…it can even lead to sex. Many people have sex on the brain just a bit too much and they do things that they shouldn’t that lead them to make less than wise decisions.  If you are dating in hopes of meeting people to have fun with or even to meet someone that would be an ideal partner in the long term you need to make sure that you make the right decisions as far as sex goes.

There are some basic rules that apply to dating and sex that you should always follow. You shouldn’t change the way that you do things, no matter what you are looking for in terms of a relationship.  You should always follow some basic dating and sex rules including:

1. Never sleep with someone on the first date.  It’s just not cool.
2. Don’t talk about sex on the first date or even the second or third.  It will seem like that is all you are interested in and this will turn a great many people off.
3. Don’t talk about having sex with your ex when you are out on a date. Or, ever.  It’s a turn off, plain and simple.
4. Don’t talk about how many people you have slept with.  Whenever you share this information it almost never has a good outcome.  You’ll be judged, no matter what you are told otherwise.
5. Date people that you are attracted to, chances are if you’re both attracted to one another that the sex will be great.
6. Don’t pretend that you don’t care about sex, just don’t make it the main topic of every conversation.
7. Be sexy but not too sexy.
8. Have fun kissing before you have sex.  When you start having sex kissing, one of the most intimate acts becomes less frequent.
9. The first time you have sex make sure you are in a place where you are comfortable, such as your home.
10. If you don’t want to have them sleep over, don’t have sex at your place.
11. Always, always, always practice safe sex.  If you don’t have protection you don’t have sex.  This should be your mantra.
12. Good sex is always good, but bad sex the first time isn’t always a bad thing, it just means that there is room to grow!
13. Sex with someone selfish is almost never any good. 
14. Don’t be pressured into doing things you aren’t comfortable doing.
15. Don’t have sex with someone until you are truly ready and comfortable with them.

These are some great rules about sex that apply to dating.  Even if you are not looking for a long term relationship, when you follow these rules you will be a lot more successful in your dating career.

A night in is just what every couple needs every now and again.  Whether you are just taking a break from the club scene or you both just want some snuggle time, romantic movies are a great way to reconnect and enjoy some time together at home.  If you are like a lot of people you may get to the video store and suddenly draw a blank on romantic movies. There are some romantic movies that are always going to be a hit, regardless of what is new and interesting on video store shelves.

Some of the romantic movies you should consider for your next night in should include but are not limited to:

1. Love Story (1970)
2. Sleepless in Seattle (1993)
3. Titanic (1997)
4. Pretty Woman (1990)
5. City of Angels (1998)
6. An Affair to Remember (1957)
7. Casablanca (1942)
8. Notting Hill (1999)
9. Gone with the Wind (1941)
10. Legends of the Fall (1995)

This is but a small list of some truly great romantic movies.  There are a lot of different types of movies here to choose from, some which include historical aspects while others include action, drama, and more. When you get to thinking about these movies, chances are you will find some others that you had forgotten about.  There are other movies that you could consider romantic such as Grease, You’ve Got Mail, Armageddon, The Notebook and more that will also keep you occupied and happily entertained.

Some of these may not be your taste, but chances are you will both like a handful of them.  If you are movie buffs, you may have seen some of these countless times, but that is what is good about an awesome romantic movie, you can watch it again and again without getting tired of it.  Who knows, some of these movies may take you back to earlier days of your relationship and have you enjoying one another and your time together in a new and more intense way.  Romantic movies are fun to watch because we can take aspects of the characters that we love and bring them alive in our real lives.

Romantic movies are a great way for a couple to reconnect.  It might get you laughing or even crying together and it may just allow you to open a new dialog that you haven’t enjoyed before.  Get some candy, some soda or your favorite drinks, and pop some popcorn and spend the night in watching these romantic movies or others, you may enjoy yourself more than you would have ever thought possible!  A romantic night in is always a good idea!

Dating someone who is married is asking to become part of a messy situation.  When someone who is married begins dating outside the marriage unbeknownst to their spouse, it can create a lot of problems.  While you are not the one who is married, you may be getting yourself in deeper than you had ever planned. If you are already in too deep you need to realize some things about dating someone who is married.

1. The worst thing you can do is assume that they are going to leave their spouse for you. They are cheating on their spouse because they don’t really want to get out of the relationship, if they did they would have gotten divorced, too.  Don’t assume that the person is ever going to leave their spouse.

2. You will always come second, even if they tell you otherwise. The reason for this is that their spouse doesn’t know they are seeing you.  Therefore, they will have to fit you into what appears to be a normal schedule to their spouse.  This may mean that you spend a lot of time waiting and a lot of nights by yourself.

3. You’ll never be able to have a completely out in the open relationship.  You may have to stay in certain areas of town, order dinner in, and not enjoy social engagements together.  This can be tough once you are out of the initial phase of the relationship.

4. You may have to see your lover out with their spouse. This can be very difficult because you not only have to pretend that you don’t know your spouse, but that them being with their mate doesn’t bother you in the slightest.

5. You’re likely not their only bed partner.  Most people who are married have sex with their spouse every once in awhile, at the very least, so you have to come to terms with the fact that you are not in a monogamous relationship.

6. You may never be loved by the married person.  Chances are you are just filling an emotional void in their life and while they may tell you that they love you and even feel infatuated, chances are a real love will never develop.

7. You’ll likely have to choose to continue to be the “other” person or part ways.

8. You will probably never meet their friends or family.

9. They may never want to meet your friends and family.

10. If the relationship does evolve and they leave their spouse for you, you may always be viewed by friends and family as the “home wrecker”.

As you can see, there are some serious things about dating someone who is married that you should think about.  Many people are able to make it work, but many more actually end up hurt and disappointed as a result.  Make sure that you proceed with caution when dating someone who is married.

It’s inevitable in life that the people we are close to will go on their own way.  This is not something that we do because we don’t care, but because we all have different dreams and goals and to follow them and achieve them we have to sometimes divert from our original group of friends, and even the people that we are dating.  Common times for this to happen is after high school, after college, and sometimes even after the kids have grown up and moved away.

It can be difficult when you know that a change is coming because you have mixed emotions.  You have mixed emotions because it may mean that you cannot spend as much time with the person that you have given all of your love and affection to for so long but also you have so much to look forward to.  It can be difficult to know what to do in these situations, but the thing to keep in mind is that to move forward things always have to change.

Many people assume that they will just have a long distance relationship when their paths have to go separate ways, at least for awhile.  A lot of people choose to do the whole long distance thing, but it is not something that you have to do.  Long distance relationships take a lot of work because you don’t see the person every day and the struggle is to keep the person a part of your every day life in some way.  Long distance relationships are not for the weak at heart.  You need to both be sure that you want a long distance relationship before you assume that this is what you will do.

Other people decide to break off their relationship altogether.  This is sometimes the easiest thing to do because you know that you will be in different places physically and that you will also be in different places in your life and that a relationship together just is not feasible.  This can be hard to admit to, but many people find that in the end a clean break is the best bet. 

Still other people decide that they will just take a “break” from their relationship with the intention of coming back together when they have both gotten what they need to get done accomplished.  If you do this, you should be sure that you both understand where you stand so you know if you are free to date other people.  The last thing you want is to hurt someone that you are trying to make things work with.  Be sure that the understanding is something that you can both live with until you come together again.

If you are like most singles, you feel as though you are just running into the same people again and again, and there is no one new and interesting to date!  This can be daunting and you may feel as though you are never going to meet anyone worth dating or spending your time with.  You can meet new people, you just need to change your venue a little bit.  Many times you need to make a slight change and your dating life will change for the better.

Join a Church Singles Group.  If you know that one of the area churches hosts singles gatherings, why not go?  You may have thought that this was a silly idea in the past, but if you are having a hard time meeting new and interesting people, perhaps this is a new venue to try.  Chances are you won’t meet the same people at the church singles group that you would meet at the bar.  This is a good thing!

Go on a Singles Cruise.  This can definitely be something new and interesting to try.  Many of these cruises last just one or two nights and you will have the opportunity to meet a lot of people that you wouldn’t otherwise meet.  You’ll have plenty of time to get to know a wide variety of people who may make your dating life interesting again.  Again, your chances of meeting the same people on a cruise that you would meet in the bar or other places that you frequent is small.

Join a New Online Dating Site.  Perhaps the online dating site that you are currently on isn’t the right one for you.  If you are not meeting the right kind of people, it is an indication that you need to make a change.  There are thousands of online dating sites for you to choose from, so when one isn’t working consider thanking about your other options and exploring what else is out there.

Hobby Oriented Groups.  If you have a hobby that you enjoy a lot, you might want to think about joining a local group of people who also enjoy the same hobby.  This is a great way to meet people that you know you have something in common with, and chances are there will be a few single people thrown into the mix as a bonus!

Change the Scenery.  Instead of continuing to go to the same places and hang out with different people, you should try to change things up.  Go to different places for entertainment and even try hanging out with those friends that you don’t see often enough.  Sometimes changing the scenery just a bit will help you meet someone new and interesting.