faceromance.com

You may have been waiting for Valentines Day to ask that someone special out to dinner, but before you do, there are some things that you should know.  These little tips or etiquette reminders will ensure that you have the best possible time and make the best impression on your date possible.  Many men forget about these little tips or never knew them at all.  Here are some reminders before you go out for Valentines Day 2009:

1. Don’t take the best seat at the table.  Give your date the seat that looks toward the center of the restaurant.  This is just good form!

2. Don’t comment in a negative manner on your date’s order.  Let them order what they want and if you don’t like it don’t be negative about it.

3. Don’t eat too much bread or appetizers.  It’s good form to pace yourself and make sure that you have room for your meal and also make sure that you are not coming across as a pig before the meal even starts.

4. Don’t make your date feel like they have to share their meal.  Order your own and if she offers you a bite, accept if you would like it.  Valentines Day is the one day where you want her to feel good, and allowing her to order her own meal will do just that.

5. Make a nice toast at dinner with a nice bottle of wine.

6. Don’t check out other women in the restaurant.  It will make her feel bad and that is what she will take away from the evening.

7. Ask your date if she needs anything.  If you see that she is running low on a drink, call the waiter over to refill it for her.

8. Turn your cell phone off.  This will make her feel like you really are there for her.

9. Don’t talk about anything stressful such as bills, problems with the kids, or anything of this nature. 

10. Allow her to order dessert if she wants to.  If you don’t at least offer, you’ll just come across cheap and she’ll remember this.

These are some great tips to remember for any date, but especially for Valentines Day.  It doesn’t matter if this is your first date, whether you have been dating for years, or if you are married Valentines is a day to make her feel great and when you follow these simple tips you’ll help ensure a good experience for all.  Remember that this is a great opportunity to let her see your romantic side, even if you don’t express it as often as she would like.

Women are not at all difficult to impress.  Why?  Because they have actually come to expect very little from men in a lot of different areas.  What this means is that as a man, you have a lot of simple opportunities to stand out and get noticed by her and really make her see how good you could be together.  If you are dating a woman or even if you are married to her, there are things that you can do for her that will have her falling head over hills for you for the first time, or all over again.

1. Write her a note.  Yes, email is quick and painless but nothing tells a woman a man cares as much as a hand written note.  This doesn’t mean that you have to sit down and write 20 pages of puff, but it does mean that every once in awhile you should write a few sweet nothings down on a piece of paper and give it to her.  Leave it in her briefcase, in her car, or even taped to the bathroom mirror in the morning.  You’ll light her up from the inside out!

2. Be handy.  A woman loves nothing more than a man who can help her out a bit.  She may need her air conditioner serviced, her deck sealed, her carpet re-tacked.  These are the things that most women won’t be able to do themselves and they would love to have a man help them with it.  If you offer to do these things or similar things for them, it’ll be a real turn on because you’ll come across as the handy, masculine man that she has always wanted.

3. Turn off the game.  Every woman is used to being ignored during sports games but if you want to impress her, turn off the television and ask her to do something that you both enjoy instead.  You can always Tivo the game to watch it later, or you can just get the stats online afterward.  Giving up a game here and there is worth it to make her happy and make her realize how truly good you are for her, isn’t it?

4. Keep her guessing.  Whether you are just starting out together or you have been married for 25 years one of the best things you can do is surprise her.  Surprise her with a date that will keep her guessing all night long as to what will come next.  Let her know what to wear, but don’t tell her where you are going or what you are doing, she’ll love it and she’ll be well all her way to falling for you (all over again).

5. Bring her a little gift.  Nothing that costs a lot, but out of the blue bring her a package of her favorite candy.  Go to the store that has her favorite slippers, lotion, milkshakes, etc (you get the idea!) and bring her home her favorite item.  It’s not how much you spend, but the effort that you put forth that will have her swooning.

We have all either had the experience of feeling suffocated within a relationship or we have done the smothering that leads to this sensation.  It is easy to get caught in the trap where you want to love someone so much that you smother them, but there is a big difference between loving someone and smothering them.  When you know the differences it will be easier to keep yourself and your relationship on the right track so neither of you feels smothered at any time.

The biggest difference between loving and smothering is the fact that smothering is all about selfishness.  People who smother are looking at what they want from the other person, what they need, and how often they want to be with their love interest.  Love is different in that it is much more generous and giving so that you are able to feel great affection for a person while giving them their space.  This can be a fine line, but it is one that you want to observe if you want your relationship to work.

If you are smothering your mate you are going to be more demanding of them.  When we smother someone we want information right now and we demand the answers to the questions that we answer.  These questions may be about the future, about when you will be together next, etc.  Love is much gentler and when you are in love instead of smothering, you wait for the answers to come naturally.  Again, this is a subtle but importance difference that must be observed if you want to be successful in your relationship.

If you are smothering someone you are not really taking into consideration what the other person wants.  For instance, you may not give them the space that they have told you that they need and you may just continue to do what you believe is best, even if it is not.  Love is found where both people take into consideration not just what they want from the relationship, but what their mate wants as well.  This is an important distinction and can often help you define whether you are smothering or loving your mate.

Those who smother often tell their mates what they should think, feel and do.  When you smother someone you are attempting to control them.  This is different than love because when you love someone you may not always share the same feelings, thoughts, and actions but you respect and support autonomy.  You are two individual people and you should embrace this instead of trying to control everything that your love interest does.

As you can see, there are some very fundamental differences between those who smother and those who love.  While a lot of people who smother start out with good intentions, they can go wrong when you lose sight of the difference between loving and smothering. Observe these differences to have a truly healthy relationship!

Women are not at all difficult to impress.  Why?  Because they have actually come to expect very little from men in a lot of different areas.  What this means is that as a man, you have a lot of simple opportunities to stand out and get noticed by her and really make her see how good you could be together.  If you are dating a woman or even if you are married to her, there are things that you can do for her that will have her falling head over hills for you for the first time, or all over again.

1. Write her a note.  Yes, email is quick and painless but nothing tells a woman a man cares as much as a hand written note.  This doesn’t mean that you have to sit down and write 20 pages of puff, but it does mean that every once in awhile you should write a few sweet nothings down on a piece of paper and give it to her.  Leave it in her briefcase, in her car, or even taped to the bathroom mirror in the morning.  You’ll light her up from the inside out!

2. Be handy.  A woman loves nothing more than a man who can help her out a bit.  She may need her air conditioner serviced, her deck sealed, her carpet re-tacked.  These are the things that most women won’t be able to do themselves and they would love to have a man help them with it.  If you offer to do these things or similar things for them, it’ll be a real turn on because you’ll come across as the handy, masculine man that she has always wanted.

3. Turn off the game.  Every woman is used to being ignored during sports games but if you want to impress her, turn off the television and ask her to do something that you both enjoy instead.  You can always Tivo the game to watch it later, or you can just get the stats online afterward.  Giving up a game here and there is worth it to make her happy and make her realize how truly good you are for her, isn’t it?

4. Keep her guessing.  Whether you are just starting out together or you have been married for 25 years one of the best things you can do is surprise her.  Surprise her with a date that will keep her guessing all night long as to what will come next.  Let her know what to wear, but don’t tell her where you are going or what you are doing, she’ll love it and she’ll be well all her way to falling for you (all over again).

5. Bring her a little gift.  Nothing that costs a lot, but out of the blue bring her a package of her favorite candy.  Go to the store that has her favorite slippers, lotion, milkshakes, etc (you get the idea!) and bring her home her favorite item.  It’s not how much you spend, but the effort that you put forth that will have her swooning.

Men are often left scratching their head as to how they are supposed to keep their women happy.  The fact of the matter is that a lot of men just don’t know where to start with keeping their wives and girlfriends happy.  The awesome thing is that keeping women happy is a lot easier than most men would ever have guessed.  Some things that you can do to keep the women in your life happy include:

1. Open the door for her.  While women don’t often want to be fussed over and they don’t want to feel as though they are stepping through a door into the 1950’s, they do like to be treated like the women that they are.  When you are walking into a place together, it just makes sense to open the door and allow her to walk through first.  You can take this a step further and when you are walking along a street, walk between her and the street.  This is a sign of care and respect that most women will appreciate.

2. Take her dancing.  If you don’t know how to dance, go to dance classes with her.  Dancing is a great way to connect with one another and it will also be a great way for her to show you off to her friends.  Again, this will make her feel loved and appreciated and you’ll find that the closeness that you get in dancing often leads to other forms of closeness!

3. Dress well.  You don’t have to be the best dressed person in the world, but make sure that you take some pride in your appearance.  No one wants to date someone who doesn’t put effort into their appearance.  A woman feels good when the man she is with makes the effort to look good for her.  You’ll find she looks and feels good when you look good.

4. Don’t smother her.  Women are often known for being smothering but men are guilty of this too.  Allow her to have some things that are just hers, such as nights out with the girls or her hobby.  There are a million things that you can do together, but it’s important that you allow her to continue to be independent.

5. Listen to her.  Don’t just hear her talking, but listen to what she is saying.  This is important because women often need to vent and they want to tell you about what is going on in their life.  When you don’t listen she won’t be happy.

As you can see, keeping the women in your life as not as difficult as you might have thought.  A woman just wants to be treated like a lady, she wants to know that you care, and she also wants to feel like you listen to her.  If you keep these things in mind, you will find that suddenly living with women becomes a lot easier than ever before.

Are you in a new relationship that is loving and romantic and you want to keep it that way?  The longer you are together are you may notice that the romance is receding a bit and you may be wondering exactly how you can keep the romance going.  There are a lot of things that you can do in your new relationship to make sure that you keep him on your toes and that you keep the romantic feelings flowing.

Don’t be too adamant that he changes his way right away.  If you want into his life and you want to change everything about him, he is going to be resistant and it is going to be a huge turn off for him.  If you want to keep the good times going you want to allow him to change and fulfill your needs in his own time.  You can politely suggest what you need and want from him without making him feel like you are demanding that he change.

If you want the romance to stay alive, you need to monitor your moods.  There is nothing worse to a man than a woman who is always in a bad mood.  If you have had a hard day and you are in a bad mood, beg off and don’t go out with your man or just allow for those feelings to subside so you don’t do away with the romance in the relationship.

A man can feel very romantic and even initiate it as long as he feels like a woman respects his space, his needs, and his things.  If you suddenly start borrowing his items without asking and just showing up at his home unannounced he is going to feel like you are crowding him and romance and even a relationship may be something that he is standoffish about.  You need to realize that what is his is his, and that you need to ask to be a part of his life and to use his things.  This will have him feeling safe and respected, and in turn he is going to be more romantic.

Don’t tease him too much.  A lot of women like to tease, but what they don’t realize is that men are often a lot more insecure than they will ever let on.  If you are always teasing him he is going to feel insecure and uncomfortable and when he feels this way he is not going to be open to love and romance.  It’s not that you cannot tease at all; it’s just that you have to limit your teasing to a reasonable level.

Let him know that you appreciate him and value his time by showing up on time.  When he needs you to be ready at 6:00, be ready at 5:50 so when he is ready at 6 you can get up and go.  If you are always running late and making him late or making him wait, you are telling him in a round about way that his time is not important to you and that you don’t value him.  If someone was telling you this, you wouldn’t be all that open to romance, either!

Have you ever been with someone that you liked and the more time you spent with them the luckier you began to feel?  If so, you should strive to recreate this same feeling for the person that you are with.  There is nothing wrong with outdoing yourself by continuing to be who and what your partner needs just by being a great communicator, being honest, and being yourself!  Some great ways to be an awesome mate include:

1. Make sure that you really listen to what your mate is saying.  The worst thing that we do when we are in a relationship is take the talking for granted.  Really listen to what your mate is saying when they talk, and more importantly, listen to how they are telling that they are feeling by what they are saying and how they are saying it.

2. Be clear about what you mean.  When we get to talking we often forget that what we say can be interpreted about a million different ways.  Remember that the words we speak can be used in many different ways and the perception of each person varies, so try to consider this when you are talking to your mate so you don’t hurt them unintentionally.

3. Be understanding of your mate.  When you are arguing or any time they are expressing their feelings to you, let them know that you understand what they are saying, even if you don’t agree.  It’s important to get this from someone that you are with.

4. Do something nice for no reason for your love interest every day.  This may seem like a silly thing to do, but when you do something nice for your mate every day they will find that they don’t want to live life without you and that you are even better than they had ever hoped that you were going to be.

5. Be willing to enjoy the quiet moments.  No one likes to spend time around someone who never stops talking, moving, thinking, etc.  Be a soft place for your mate to fall when they just need that quiet place to get away from the rest of the world.  This can be challenging, but your lover will thank you.

When you do these things, your mate really will thank you, even if they don’t realize it.  You’ll find that you are adored and that your mate truly doesn’t want to live life without you, which will also benefit you because they will want to return the favor, treating you wonderfully as well!

We all hear the term player used in a condescending way, but someone who is a player is often just someone who is dating more than one person, also known as playing the field.  Why does this have to be a bad thing?  As long as you are not committed to any of the people that you are dating, you can date as many people as you like.  In fact, you may find that being a player can actually be a good thing.

By dating more than one person at a time you can actually fast forward the process of finding the right person for you.  When you limit yourself to just one person at a time you may be missing out on meeting that Mr. or Mrs. Right.  This doesn’t mean that you need to be disrespectful or lead anyone on, it just means that you need to leave your options open so you can accept a date if someone interesting comes along.

When you are dating more than one person you are better able to compare the people that you are dating.  This sounds rude, but when you date people at the same time you can sort of look at all of the qualities in each of the people that you are dating that you like and do not like.  This will allow you to really hone in on the character traits of your ideal mate, so perhaps you will have an easier time finding people that you really want to spend time with.

Another great thing about dating more than one person at once is that you can begin to feel more confident when dating.  If you lack confidence, become a serial dater for awhile and really develop some first date and dating skills.  It’s like anything else, the more you do it the better you will become at it.  When you finally get a date with someone that you really like, you’ll be a pro!

Dating several people at one time will also allow you to build your self esteem.  When you know that you are wanted you feel more confident, and what better way to feel wanted than to date several people at once?  Again, these need not be serious dates or relationship bound interactions, but they can help you feel good about yourself in the process, and it will be fun!

While the term player has become a derogatory term, it needn’t be.  When you date several people at one time you can be respectful while having a lot of fun and becoming a more confident and self assured person.  Dating in this manner will allow you to really discover who you are and what you want.

There is a saying out there that many people are fond of that goes simply: “love hurts” if only there was some sort of primer that we could all read that would allow for us to learn some standard lessons about love.  If we were given some key lessons about love early on we may be better able to embrace what does come our way and then not fall apart when it is no more.  Love can hurt, but love can also be really beautiful if you accept it for what it is.

1. No man or woman will fix the way you feel about yourself or your life.  So often when we are distraught about things in other areas of our life we look to our mate to fix it for us.  This is the reason that there are always people out there searching for someone to be with, someone they want to heal them.  The fact of the matter is that there is not someone out there that can fix you or your life.  You cannot get into a relationship for the pure and simple reason of having them complete you, because it just won’t work.  Not to mention, most people don’t like the pressure of having to fix you and everything that has gone wrong in your life.

2. You need to apply the life lessons you have learned to your relationships.  You need to have your eyes wide open at all times and when you learn a life lesson, apply it.  If you have been through a hard time, take what you have learned and apply it going forward.  This can save you a lot of grief in the future.

3. Learn who you are and what you like instead of assuming that someone will just know.  There is nothing worse than being with someone who doesn’t know what they want and what they like, yet they expect you to.  Spend time trying to get to know yourself, experiencing new things, and deciding for yourself what you like and what you want from life.  Then, make this knowledge known to those that you are dating and you will find that it makes relationships much easier to navigate and you’ll also have an easier time choosing mates who want the same thing from life.

4. Don’t rush into a new relationship.  It’s often scary when you get out of a relationship to be alone, but this time is important.  This is the time where you can reevaluate what you have learned from your previous relationship and how you can apply this new knowledge to your life now.  The time in between relationships can prove fruitful and more important to who you are and what you do with your life than the time you spend inside a relationship.

5. Not all relationships will last forever.  It would be good if we were all told this when we were young, so that we wouldn’t assume that our first love interest would be our last.  It is often devastating when a relationship ends, but some relationships were never really meant to be a long term thing.  You need to value the relationship for what it was and how long it did last and move on.

Are you known for your dating disasters?  If so, you likely have a problem being able to pick out the people who are just not right for you.  A lot of people have this problem, they are excited to be out with someone new and they totally overlook the red flags that are popping up everywhere.  If you want to know how to pick out the people that you just should stay away from you should look out for:

1. Those who are attached.  Even if they are “in the process” of a break up or divorce you should consider them attached.  If the person mentions a girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, or husband, you need to head for the nearest exit.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t consider dating them in six months or a year, but tell them that you need for them to be completely unattached before you will consider dating them.  This will help you steer clear of the drama and heartache that comes along with people who are still attached.

2. Those who aren’t looking for the same thing as you.  When people talk you need to listen.  There are some key things that people often say when we begin dating that we often gloss over or assume that we can change.  If the person that you are dating says that they aren’t looking for commitment and you are, then you need to get out, and vice versa.  You need to be sure that you listen and look for those cues and the moment you are told otherwise you need to walk away.

3. You don’t share a social life.  If you have been dating for awhile and your love interest still isn’t introducing you to friends or family, you may need to question why.  If you don’t do anything with friends and your love interest is happy with this, you need to proceed with caution.  This is often an indication that they are seeing someone else or just not that into you.

4. They don’t take an interest in what you do.  It’s great when you have an awesome physical relationship with someone and that you seem to click when you are together, but if the person that you are dating doesn’t seem to take an interest in what you like to do outside of the relationship, that is a problem.  Someone who has a genuine interest in you will want to know something of every aspect of your life.

5. They talk about their ex all the time.  This sort of goes hand in hand with the first red flag, but even if the person is unattached you need to make sure that they are unattached emotionally as much as they are physically.  If the ex is a constant topic, run for the hills!