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When you are young flirting comes naturally and you have a set way in which you flirt.  It seems that when we are young we know what works and what doesn’t and we are not afraid to try new things.  Yet, as we age it seems the way that we once flirted just doesn’t have the same affect that it once did.  If you are trying to put yourself out there and flirt again for the first time in a long time or you just want to hone your flirting skills as you age, you simply need to follow a couple really simple tips.

1. Don’t try to be obvious about it.  As you age, you don’t need or want things to be as “in your face”.   You need to remember that when you are flirting, being subtle about things really is a much more effective way to flirt.  Give the person that you are interested in a little smile, give them just a little extra attention, and then go from there.  You’ll find that the build up and the ability to respond is just so much more natural and enjoyable when you go about it in this manner.

2. Use your manners!  If you are middle aged you have seen the way that society has changed and manners overall are just much different than they used to be.  Just always put your best foot forward and use your manners when you are dealing with someone that you like, this will let them know that you like them a lot and hopefully they will reciprocate.

3. Just be honest.  Don’t use pick up lines and don’t be silly about it.  You should definitely just tell someone that you would like to spend some time with them.  When you approach it in this way you will get what you want, you will let someone know that you want to get to know them better.  You will definitely be more straight forward, but you are still being polite when you let them know that you want to get to know them better.

4. Touch them when you have the opportunity.  This shouldn’t mean that you are looking for excuses to touch someone inappropriately, it means when you are talking that you should reach out and touch their hand, their shoulder, or their knee.  We know that when people touch us they either like us very much or care about us, so this is a good signal to send to someone that you want to get to know better and let them know that you like them.

5. Pay attention to the clues that you are given.  When you are flirting you need to make sure that you are paying attention to the way that the person is responding.  You need to do this so you can respond if they flirt back, or so that you can pull back if the person is responding in a way that lets you know that you are not interested.  Being older means being wiser, so pay attention to the way that the person responds.

Many men feel like they have to do something special to get that girl that they have been noticing to go out with them.  There is a lot of information out there about seduction techniques and many guys get so wrapped up in the art of seduction that they are wasting precious time.  If you are one of those guys that believe that you have to somehow seduce her into wanting you, stop wasting your time.  Try a more direct approach; chances are if you just ask her out that you will be much more successful in taking her out sooner rather than later.

While this is great advice a lot of guys are left scratching their head.  They think if it was just so simple to ask her out he would have done that already.  It really is that simple, you just need to ask the question.  You can ask the question in a variety of ways that allow you to come off interested but also casual and comfortable.

Do you want to go to dinner this week?  When you ask a woman to dinner you are letting her know that you are interested but when you phrase it this way you are allowing her to back out if she is not interested.  If she says no you haven’t put yourself out there too much, but you have made you intent known well enough.  Chances are she’ll say yes and be flattered by your request.

I have tickets to the game; would you like to go with me?  If you know that she likes the same team that you do, why not ask her to go to the game with you?  This is another casual way that you can ask to spend time with her, but if she says no you can just shrug it off as you were asking another fan to attend with you.  No need to feel embarrassed or like you have lost any face!

Would you like to grab coffee?  This is a great way to get to know someone that you are attracted to.  You can keep it brief but also let her know that you have some casual interest in her.  If she says she doesn’t have time, simply offer to bring her a cup of her favorite brew as this will also let her know that you are interested and might help her to take more notice of you, also.

This movie looks great; would you like to go see it together?  A movie is always a get in, especially if you know that it is something that she has expressed interest in.  This is also a non-threatening date because you don’t have to have constant dialog, the entertainment is provided for you and if you have good feelings after the movie you can ask to take her for ice cream or a cup of coffee.

The idea is to keep it simple.  Don’t go into a big speech about how you are interested in her and you want to get to know her better.  Just simply ask if she would like to do something with you.  If she is interested she’ll likely say yes, even if it is not today or tomorrow, and if she is not she’ll say no.  When you keep it short and sweet you don’t lose any face through the process but you put yourself out there just enough to hopefully meet someone and spend time with someone new.

Many men dread the 14th day of February because they just don’t understand the appeal of a holiday that requires them to go out and buy gifts, flowers, and candy.  If you are a man and you are not someone who naturally likes Valentines Day you might wonder why your girlfriend or wife loves it so much.  Not understanding this may get you into hot water, without even realizing it!

First and foremost you need to understand that women like the idea of romance, which is why Valentines Day appeals to them.  This is a day that is designated for romance so it is something that they can look forward to all year long.  If you know that your wife or girlfriend likes Valentines Day you can bet it is because she liked the idea of being romanced.

Many women like Valentines Day because it is the only day of the year where the men in their life are romantic toward them.  Women often feel like they have to do all of the romancing or planning for romance and on this day they know that their man will come through, because he has no excuse not to!  This day is like a built in day for men to let down their guard and woo the women in their life!

A lot of women just like to feel special.  Let’s face it; most guys aren’t great at being romantic, at least not in the way that most women would like.  On Valentines Day a woman has a pretty good indication that the man in her life will shower her with gifts and perhaps a romantic dinner.  All of these things make her feel special and this is one day when she knows that she will feel good about herself and her relationship.

Women are competitive and they love nothing more than to tell their friends what their man has done for them.  Valentines Day is a great way for women to compare notes on the men in their life.  When you bring her flowers or candy or you buy her lingerie and take her to dinner this is, in a way, part of the competition with other women.  Don’t get it wrong, she likes being with you and likes the attention, but it is also a competition to see who has the best man!

As you can see, there are a wide variety of reasons that women like Valentines Day.  The woman who expects nothing on V-Day is rare, so if you have one, make sure that you hold onto her so you don’t have to get wrapped up in the pink and red madness that is this holiday.  If your girl loves the holiday, do your part to indulge her!

Whether there are deaths in the family, the loss of jobs, the regular ups and downs in a relationship, or the effects of the withering economy every relationship is going to go through tough times.  It is these hard times that can make or break a relationship.  Instead of allowing for the tough times to break your relationship and leave you alone, allow it to bring you together.  You’ll come away from the tough times a more solid unit and your relationship will be able to weather the next storm more effectively.

Some great ways to get through the tough times are:

1. Turn toward one another instead of away from one another when there is a problem.  Many married couples don’t make it through the tough times because instead of going to one another when things are tough, they either pull inward or their turn toward family and friends.  You need to rely on yourselves and one another to get out of tough spots because this is the way that a relationship is built.  If you are constantly turning away from one another to get your needs met during a crisis you won’t learn how much you need one another.

2. Approach problems as a team.  Couples who are successful at getting through tough times take an “us against the world” approach and this works.  If you team up and get you through the problems together you’ll find that you are able to share the burden of the issues that lay before you so that in the end you are both stronger as individuals and as a couple.

3. Don’t fight.  It is easy when you are stressed to pick at the people who mean the most to you.  Instead of finding reasons to fight, find reasons to love one another.  When you are irritated or agitated, don’t lash out, let your spouse know how they are feeling and how they can help you feel better.  In the end this will be so much more beneficial than the other option.

4. Enjoy the small things in life.  Whether it is being able to sit down and eat something together or just watching television with one another for an hour or two, take some comfort in this.  Don’t expect too much from yourself or your spouse during the tough times.

5. Make time for the relationship.  When you are stressed and things are very difficult it’s easy to let the relationship fall by the wayside.  Instead of letting it fall by the wayside, make time for it.  Leave little love notes, hug one another, kiss one another, and remember that you love and need one another.  This will make getting through the tough times so much easier because you aren’t doing it alone and you’ll come out the other side much stronger.

There are some people, if you are honest, that are better off single.  You may be one of them.  If you keep finding yourself single and you are actually happier when you are on your own then when you are in a relationship, you may be a better single person than a person in a relationship.  If you take an honest look at your life you may find that the single life really does suit you better.

You are probably better off single if you are independent.  If you like to do your own thing and you don’t want to answer to anyone.  It’s okay to be independent, but if you don’t want to have to be accountable to anyone and you don’t want to have to worry about what someone else wants or needs from you, the single life will suit you much better.

You are better off being single if you are materialistic.  Some people love material things…a lot.  There is nothing wrong with this if you are honest about it.  If you are a very materialistic person and you like things more than you like people, you need to consider being single and just dating people.  If material things are important to you, accept it, admit it, and embrace it but don’t try to hold down a relationship.

You are probably better off single if you haven’t recovered from a past relationship.  The worst thing you can do when you haven’t recovered from a past relationship is to jump into a new one.  You need to give yourself time to heal.  If you jump into a relationship now you are going to be doing it with all of your heart and soul.  You owe it to yourself as well as to the people that you will date to be all in.

You are better off being single if you don’t like commitment.  When you are in a relationship the other person is going to expect you to be committed to them and to your relationship.  If you don’t want to be committed to a relationship you are better off being on your own or dating very casually.  If you do date you should be honest about your inability or dislike of commitment so the person does not get the wrong idea about what you want from the date.

As you can see, some people are just better off single.  There is nothing to be ashamed of, not everyone is built to be in a relationship and other people simply are not ready.  You cannot force the issue, if you are better off being single you should embrace the single life and enjoy it.  There are definitely benefits to being single, so if that what works for you right now, enjoy it!

It seems that everyone has had one of those great dates that seems to work from the minute you meet up and start talking.  You like all of the same things, you listen to the same music, you have some of the same friends, you like the same foods.  You think that it must be a match made in heaven and you can’t imagine what could ever turn you off of this person.  Then, either at the end of the date or at some point on one of the first few dates you learn that they still live with the parents. 

Hearing that someone you thought was perfect for you still lives with their parents when they are of age makes most people cringe.  Before you say goodbye without looking back, perhaps you should take a moment to put your judgments aside.  Perhaps they have a really good reason to be living with their parents. 

Before you write them off as a loser you should just bring up the fact that they still live with their parents.  Ask them about it, and be straight forward about it.  Say something as simple as, “You mentioned that you still live with your parents.  How is that going?”  You don’t have to be rude about it, but just get an idea of why they are there.

If they don’t seem to have an issue with the fact that they live with their parents, ask about where else they have lived.  Many people just move back when something happens that is beyond their control.  You may also find that the person has never lived apart from their parents, which is something you may want to be a bit weary of if they are out of their teens or early twenties.

When you ask the person about it, you may find that they have a legit reason to be living with their parents.  Perhaps they help take care of their elderly parents who just need a bit of watching over.  Or, maybe they are having work done to their home and they needed a place to stay. It could also be that they lost their job and need some time to get back on their feet.  If they are staying with their parents it isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you just need to get to the bottom of it to determine what their plans are for the future and how you feel about it.

If they have no intention to leave home you need to think about whether this is someone that you can be with.  You may want someone who aspires to be more and do more with their life.  You just need to feel it out and see how you feel about what you find, you may find that they have a totally reasonable excuse for living at home, or they just could be the dreaded loser.

Did you recently break up with your boyfriend and you want him back?  Nothing is worse than going through a break up when you want nothing more than to be with them and have them be a part of your life.  Even though you are broken up, there is a chance that you can get him back in your life and start anew.  While some relationships are best left in the past, if your relationship was a healthy one, why not give it one more shot?

The first thing you need to do if you want to get your boyfriend back is think about where things went wrong.  If you know why things went south you will be able to determine how you can fix things and avoid contributing to the problem again.  You might find when you look closely at what went wrong that you were making all of the wrong moves when you thought you were making the right ones.

Next, look back at your relationship and think about who and want he fell in love with.  Have you changed completely not just physically but also emotionally and mentally?  Are you still the person that he fell in love with?  If you have changed and you can no longer be that person, you may not be able to reconcile, but if you are still that same person you just need to bring those things out and show them to him again.

Remind him of better times.  When things are going bad it is easy to concentrate on all that is wrong with your relationship.  Instead of allowing him to focus on the negative aspects of your relationship, remind him of the good times, go back to a place you both loved, wear an outfit that he liked, etc.  Reminding him of the good times can make him realize that there is a lot to work with to just walk away.

Give him a call and ask him if you guys can meet somewhere for a drink.  If he accepts, don’t make it more complicated than it needs to be.  Just say that you want to catch up and choose a place where you have some good memories and meet them there for nothing more than a drink.

After you get a drink together wait a few days and then email them and let them know that you had a good time with them.  Tell them that you just wanted to check in with them and see how they are doing.  By doing this you may be able to open a dialogue.    Let him know that you regret the mistakes you have made in the past and that you are open to having him in your life in any capacity and hopefully you’ll get him back in your life.  Remember not to be pushy but open.

There are a lot of things that we all do that take away from our relationship instead of giving to it.  The awesome thing is that you don’t really have to work all that hard to give your relationship a little boost every single day!

1. Do something nice for your mate every day.  It doesn’t have to be anything major because it is those little things that mean the most.  When you get up from watching television to get a drink, ask your mate if they want something to.  Bring them home their favorite candy bar when you go to the store.  Fill their gas tank up for them so they don’t have to leave early in the morning.  Little things like this will let your mate know that you care about them every day.

2. Ask your spouse those questions that you used to ask them when you were just together and would stay up all night talking.  Ask them where they want to be in 10 years?  What they want to be when they grow up?  Where they want to go in the world that they haven’t yet been.  You’ll find that your relationship has that electric buzz to it that it did in the beginning when you begin asking these questions because some of the answers may surprise you!

3. Tell them you love them.  We often go through many hours or days without telling our spouses that we love them in a meaningful day.  At least once a day you should make a point of stopping what you are doing and telling your spouse that you love them.  Tell them that you love them first thing in the morning, over dinner, or even send them an email while they are at work.  Your telling them that you love them, while they may know, will make them feel good and also will prompt them to be more open with their love toward you.

As you can see, these are simple ways to boost your relationship.  When you make the person you are with feel good, and you go out of your way just slightly to do it, it will have a big impact.  Just try to put yourself in the shoes of your mate every once in awhile.  When you do this, you will find that you are able to see yourself in a different light, which will give you a different perspective and allow you to be the very best person that you can be in your relationship.  It is often the awareness that comes from trying to make your mate happy and gaining a new perspective that gives the relationship the little jolt that it so desperately needed.

Men are often at a loss for words.  They say very little because they feel like they are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.  The fact of the matter is that there are things that women want you to say.  Things that they will never actually ask you to say, but things would mean a lot if you said them.  Of course, not all women actually want you to follow through on what you say, but the fact that you can say these things and mean them is important.  As if that wasn’t confusing enough, below are some things that every woman would like for a man to say or have said to her in the past.

1. We don’t have to move quickly.  Every woman likes to know that the man that she is dating or involved with doesn’t want to rush right into the sack. This gives her some time to get her bearings and what most guys don’t realize is that this will help her slow down too, so she doesn’t freak you out by saying the L-word in three weeks like she might have if you went speedy fast.

2. You’re beautiful.  But don’t be so vague about it.  Just about every girl (even the not so pretty ones) have been told that they are beautiful.  They don’t just want something really generic, instead they want to be told that the little freckle on their nose is cute, or the arch in her back.  You need to come up with something unique if you really want to woo her.

3. Let her know what you like.  When she kisses you, touches you, caresses you, or just makes you laugh let her know that you like the way that she does it.  Be specific and let her know that what you like about it is nothing in general, it is all about her.  This will make her feel good, will make her feel sexy, and will definitely have her bringing more of what you like to the table in the future.

4. Tell her that she impresses you or amazes you.  Any of these adjectives are good.  Of course, tell her what about her amazes you.  If she has just gotten done talking to you about something big that she is working on at work, tell her how impressed you are.  If you just got done being intimate let her know that she rocked your world.  We all like compliments, but with women you have to be specific or it comes across as fake.

5. Tell her you want to make her feel good.  Instead of saying that you want to get your freak on, tell her that it’s all about you wanting to make her happy.  When you do this it will make her light up from the inside out, and as long as you are honest about this, you’ll find that she comes back for more so you can make her happy again, and again, and again!

The end of the date can either be really good or really bad.  If you have had even one date end badly or uncomfortably you sure don’t want to do it again.  There are some simple ways to avoid the discomfort that one often feels when the evening is drawing to an end.  Planning ahead will help you avoid the awkward feelings and discomfort at the end of a poorly planned date.

Great Ways to End a Date

1. Make sure that you plan an end time.  This sounds odd, but when you say, we can go out for dinner and drinks but I need to be home by 8pm you will put an end time to your date.  This will allow you to have an out, either way, so that you don’t have to drag things on and on for fear of hurting their feelings or not knowing if you should seal things with a kiss, shake hands, or hug.

2. Just be honest with your date.  The thing that we often do that makes the end of a date uncomfortable is we try to be too nice or too accommodating.  If you are done eating and that is all you had planned, be honest about whether you would like to see the person again and ask them to be honest too.  When you are straight forward about these things it takes a lot of the discomfort out of the process of drawing the date to a close.

3. Drive yourself.  The worst thing you can do on a date is drive together.  Why?  Because you are sort of at their mercy as to when you leave.  When you have your own transportation there is some comfort in knowing that you can take your leave at any time.  If you decide you don’t want to see each other again at the restaurant, you still have to ride back to your place or your meeting place together.

4. Don’t take things too seriously.  If you want to avoid the uncomfortable endings to a first date, be sure that you keep things light and fun.  When you keep things light ending the date is a lot more natural and you won’t feel the tension and anxiety that comes with the end of dates that are taken too seriously.

5. Don’t just listen to your date, watch them.  Body language will often tell you how they are really feeling so that will lessen your anxiety about where things stand.  If they are moving away from you and not making eye contact, you don’t need to talk about a second date.  If they are making eye contact, touching your shoulder, and leaning in when they talk, a second date is definitely in your future.  Paying attention to body language will help you end a date with class!